Alright, let's cut the crap. Every October, some corporate PR team gets the brilliant idea to theme their marketing around Halloween. Usually, it's cringey. But Alabama Power? They've turned it into an art form of misdirection, and honestly... you almost have to respect the hustle.
They’re out here talking about "energy vampires" and "spooky myths" like they're your quirky, helpful neighbor handing out full-sized candy bars. They want you to unplug your toaster and use a power strip. They want you to build bat houses. It’s all so wholesome, so folksy, so incredibly distracting.
Because while you're busy worrying about the phantom power draw from your TV, Alabama Power's parent company, Southern Company, just casually posted a $1.7 billion profit for the quarter. That’s billion, with a 'B'.
This isn't a helpful PSA. It's a magic trick. They're dangling a few shiny, bat-shaped objects in one hand to keep you from looking at the mountain of cash they're stuffing into their pockets with the other.
The Feel-Good Fluff
Let’s break down the performance. First, you get the list of "frightening facts" from pieces like Alabama Power provides tips to dispel scary energy-savings myths during spooky season and beyond. Don't turn your heat off completely, they warn, or your unit will work like "Frankenstein's monster" to warm back up. Don't close your vents, because your house "isn't the Bates Motel." Cute. It’s the kind of advice your grandpa gives you, repackaged with a spooky font.
The star of the show, though? The bats. Alabama Power is building bat houses. Thirty of them! Painted by schoolchildren! Each one holds 200 bats. It’s a genuinely good thing for the bats, I guess. But let's be real. This is PR gold. You get a conservation story, cute kids, and a Halloween tie-in all wrapped up in one neat little package. How much do you think that cost them? A few thousand bucks? Maybe? What a bargain for a story that makes them look like eco-warriors.
It’s all designed to make you feel like you and the power company are on the same team, fighting the good fight against high bills and bat extinction. We’re all in this together! Except we’re not. You're trying to save $5 a month by unplugging a lamp. They're selling half a billion dollars in bonds to buy a new gas plant. See the difference?
This is a bad strategy. No, 'bad' isn't the right word—it's a brilliant strategy. It works. People see the bat houses and the helpful tips and think, "Hey, they care." But do they care when they're planning projects that will snarl your commute for the better part of a decade?
The Grinding Reality Underneath
While the Halloween carnival is in full swing, there’s other, less-fun news. On Valleydale Road, they're starting Lane closures on Valleydale Road between now and Nov. 28 for utility relocation. Why? To relocate power lines for a road-widening project that has been in the works for 27 years.
Let that sink in. A project so old it could have a mortgage and a mid-life crisis is just now getting to the utility relocation phase. This phase alone is expected to take up to three years. Construction won't even start until late 2028. You'll be stuck in traffic from now until the end of the decade, all so they can prepare to start the real work.
Their spokesman says, "We appreciate your patience as we complete this important work." This is corporate-speak for "Get used to it." It's the price of progress, or whatever platitude they're selling this week. The project will cost tens of millions, and offcourse the city and county are footing a huge chunk of the bill. Which means you are.
So, on one hand, you have Alabama Power, the friendly helper, giving you tips on using your slow cooker to save a few pennies. On the other, you have Alabama Power, the corporate behemoth, casually rearranging a major thoroughfare for the next three years as a prelude to an even bigger disruption.
And all of this is happening while their parent company is absolutely swimming in money, beating Wall Street expectations and boasting about signing contracts for over 2 gigawatts of new demand from data centers and manufacturers. Do you really think they're losing sleep over your toaster?
So, We Get Cute Tips and They Get to Be a Monopoly
Look, I'm not saying the advice to unplug your electronics is bad. It’s fine. The bat houses are fine. But don't for a second mistake any of this for genuine altruism. It’s a calculated, beautifully executed campaign to manage public perception. It’s about making a massive, faceless utility feel smaller, friendlier, and more concerned with your life than it actually is.
They're not your friend. They're a regulated monopoly that just reported record profits and is planning for an 8% annual growth in electricity sales. They're playing a completely different game, and the "spooky tips" are just their way of patting us on the head while they go about their business. Enjoy the bat houses, I guess. Just don't forget who's really winning this Halloween.
